Snape's dilemmas
by Mr-Spock1
Summary: During the final battle against Voldemort Snape becomes badly injured. Can Lupin bring him back to life? Slash. TRANSLATION


As always: None of the characters are mine and I do not earn anything.

Very special thanks to Lapislazuli, my friend, my beta and my inspiration.

This was my first ever FanFic and I tried to translate it.

As my English lessons are a few years away, I can only hope I did not made too many mistakes, found the correct words and put the commas in the right places. If not: I beg your pardon.

And: Improvement suggestions will be welcomed!

* * *

_**Snape's dilemma(s)**_

_By Mr.__ Spock_

The final battle was over. Voldemort was dead. The remaining members of the order of the phoenix stood still at the battlefield and couldn't believe what happened. Voldemort was dead, they had been victorious.  
Even they had many losses to mourn. The war has been hard and severe and they had lost Sirius, Tonks, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Hestia Jones, Mundungus Fletcher, Amelia Bones, Emmeline Vance - and Dumbledore, to call just a few names. Remus Lupin and Minerva McGonagall looked at each other and a slow grasping dawned at their faces. Their comrades-in-arms began to move around them. Molly Weasley leaned her head against her husbands shoulder, Fleur throw herself in Bill's arms, Charlie and Percy patted each other onto the back and Harry Potter – the famous Harry Potter – disappeared almost under the hugging of his friends and comrades-in-arms. Just Remus looked around, searching for something. "Where is Snape", he asked finally.  
Also Minerva looked for Snape. "If he is – dead?" "I don't know. I have seen him, almost near the end. He was duelling with Malfoy. But I couldn't keep my eyes at him, Greyback was after me." Remus tried a distorted smile. Minerva put her hand on his arm. "We should take a look for other survivors. " Remus nodded and the remaining witches and wizards fanned out, searched for injured people beneath the bodies. They found some hurt and unconscious wizards, but they couldn't find Snape.

ooOoo

He had almost cornered Lucius. Soon, he would have him so far. Doggedly he moved up to him, duelling so fiercely that their wands were blurs. "I always knew that you are a traitor, Snape!" Snape opened his mouth to give an answer when Lucius' curse hit him right in the chest and the world became dark.

ooOoo

_He didn't know where he was. He couldn't see nor hear anything. He wasn't able to move a single muscle. He also couldn't give the smallest tongue. What an end, he thought. What an irony of fate to be switched off by a self-invented spell. I'm fallen into my own trap. Grateful he noticed the darkness waving up to him and he got lost._

ooOoo

"If he isn't dead or hurt where else could he be? " Lupin paced up and down the kitchen restless. "He should be here. Here, with us. If someone of the remaining Death Eaters is behind him… We could protect him! He had deserved it!" "Remus, calm down." Molly Weasley stepped to him and put her hands on his shoulders. "Severus could always take care for himself. I am sure he'll soon be here." Remus gave a laugh, a short joyless laughter. "Do you really believe that? " "Remus, sit down. Pacing doesn't make a change. You better take a cup of tea." Unwillingly he sat down while Molly went to the cooker. He turned his gaze to McGonagall. "Do you believe that, too, Minerva?" Feebler than her usual manners she nodded, but she wasn't able to look into his eyes. That was enough. Again he jumped up. "I'm going back. May be we've overlooked something!" "Remus, that's sheer madness! ""At any rate it is too dangerous! If one of the Death Eaters gets you…." "I see! It is too dangerous for me! And Severus is supposed to take care of himself? I'm going back to the battlefield! " Molly lowered her gaze, but McGonagall jumped up, too. "You're not going alone!" "Who says that", flared Lupin up. "Me! And I go with you! " There was so much of her usual determination in her voice, that he couldn't raise any more objections. Remus Lupin and Minerva McGonagall left Grimmauldplatz Nr.12 in silence, on the search for Severus Snape.

ooOoo

_Still he was a prisoner in his own body. He did not know where he was, he also did not really know WHO he was. He just knew that he was about to be drowned in his own grief, despair and bitterness. A distressing anguish of mind dashed over him, surged over him and carried him away. Somehow he knew that he'd never be happy again._ (Happy? What did that mean?)_His mind tried to keep that thought in focus, but it slipped away and again he engulfed in agony._

_He saw these pictures in his mind, always these __pictures. They hurt him, but they seemed to be vaguely familiar. A tall man with black hair and a hooked nose, beating a little boy and a crying woman. An older teenager was abasing another teenager with sleek black hair tormenting. An old man with white hair and a long beard, pleading to him _Who?_, until he was hit by a green flashlight and toppled of a high tower. Children__ ignoring__ a__ thin little boy._

_He saw __gruesome injured people, he saw deceased, murdered by his own hand... _(Whose?)

_He saw a remarkable man with a snakelike face and red eyes, whose make him ill of shame._

(Why?)

_These pictures bonded to a __kaleidoscope, washed him further away, approaching new anguish. He felt a forlornness, rooted somewhere in his midriff, growing up including his whole existence _(existence?)_overgrew it._

_He felt his soul ripping apart._(Soul? Has he got a soul?)_Chaos carried him away, blasted away his deepest barriers. He saw a man with grey-flecked hair and shabby clothing, he saw a woman with square spectacles and a tight bun. And he saw the man toppling of the tower, again, and again and again._

_**DUMBLEDORE.**_

_This fragment of reminiscence reveal__ed itself suddenly. Memories from another part of his existence, sliding into his mentally focus and he tried to process them._

(Who was Dumbledore?)

(What was Dumbledore?)

(Where was Dumbledore?)

_The__ screaming in his ears became louder, a cacophony of grief and pain, the pictures before his eyes changed faster and frightened away the remainders of his airy memories. _

ooOoo

"Remus, we've been searching for hours. He's not here" "He has to be here." "What if he is disapparated?" "Why should he disappear in the middle of the battle? No, Minerva. He hasn't betrayed us or forsaken us. He'd never left on his own volition. " "No, of course not. " Silently they kept on searching the vast grounds. Finally Minerva settled herself down on a stub. "Remus, I can't go on." Her voice was slightly trembling. Lupin went with quick steps towards her. He noticed her deep depletion und knelt down with concern. "Go home, Minerva." His voice was gently. Ungainly he strokes a sweat soggy wisp of hair off her face. "Have some rest. You've done enough We don't want to loose you too." Emotions made his voice trembling. "What about you? " "I have to go on", he answered artlessly, but with a gravely voice. In her eyes he could see that she understood him. "Good luck, Remus." She touched him softly on his shoulder, then she disapparated. Lupin strokes his sweaty grey wisps of hair off his forehead, too and – quested on.

ooOoo

_The demonically __screaming in his ears became louder, an audible inferno, able to deprive him of his senses. He felt the need to keep his ears shut, to curl himself up to a ball and to scream and cry loudly. _(Needing? Crying?)

_Still he layed there, motionless, imprisoned in the depth of his own mind, buried alive in his useless body…_

_He drifted around aimlessly. _(Did he have an aim?)_Alone__. Lonesome__. Harmed__. Only accompanied by his own personal demons, shadows of his past, vengeance themselves upon him, tantalising him mercilessly._

_But there__. There__ was__ something else__. His mind strove with all remaining powers towards that something and for a short moment, a very tiny moment, the booming roar in his ears dropped a bit. A pleasant voice said: __"_Severus! "

(Who is Severus?)

(Where is Severus?)

_And he felt _(He felt?)_ a hand _(Whose?)_ taking his._

ooOoo

"I do not know what's wrong with him. I do not know, too, if he'll ever awake again." The healer gave Lupin a look of distress and helplessness.  
"I've never seen a damage of swearwords like this." She swung a diagnostic wand all over Snapes inert body and shook her head with incomprehension.  
"Is he in a kind of coma?" Lupin stared down to that inert body. "Yes – and no. In a strange kind he is awake but unable to move. As far as I can tell he is unable to process sensory stimuli. But he's suffering. The pain is inflicting a severe destruction to his nerve tissue. It must be pure agony. His stress hormones almost go beyond the scope. If we couldn't find a remedy, his body will collapse. Your friend will die. I'm not able to give you any hope. It's like I've said before: I've never seen something like that before. " The healer left the room clueless. Lupin slumped down at the edge of the bed and reached for Snapes hands. "Severus. What have you done? "  
The pale figure stayed silent and gave no answer.

ooOoo

"I don't know what to do. I don't know how much time is left for you. I don't know either if you can hear me. But I hope so. I'm here, Severus, with you You're not alone. We're all waiting for you. For your return. Voldemort is dead you know we've made it. Thanks to you! If it hasn't been you things would have turned out different… Oh Severus. Please come back. I'm waiting, Severus. I'm waiting for you, I'm the here the whole time, waiting. The people outside are celebrating. Do you know that? They celebrate Voldemort's final downfall. But I don't like to go out and participate. Not with you laying in here like that. I don't like to leave you alone. You've always been lonesome. But not yet! Now I'm with you.You know, Severus, I'm there for you. I'm with you. I don't know what tantalises you",_(Tantalises?)_ "but I try to help you to overcome it. Do you hear me? I'll stay with you until it ends.No matter what the end will be…" _(End… End!)_

Remus bent over Snape and stroke one of the shiny black wisps of hair back.

_(Touch!)_ After that he took again Snapes cold motionless hand and began again with his endless desperate monologue.

ooOoo

_Pain__. Fuss.__ Darkness._

_But here and then he heard the pleasant voice in his ear. __Snatches of words he couldn't fill with meaning. But the others, the loud ones, became weaker that instant. His mind strove to that voice which decoyed him so powerful. But always, near the target, it slipped away._

_But it always came back._

_He could hear that voice more often now. He felt gravitate towards that voice, at an amorphously and unintelligible kind of way. He didn't know that it meant remedial assistance, life, but however his mind elongated towards it. He fought against the chains which imprisoned him, enslaved him._

_Every now and then he __felt a breath of warmth at different places of his body, at his hand, the shoulders or at the forehead... His mind struggled with it, sought despairingly for an explanation, until he finally instinctual understood: __**Shelter**_

ooOoo

"You can't help him, You only exhaust yourselves. " "No, healer. Whenever I talk to him, whenever I held his hand, I can feel that he can notice me somehow." "Professor Lupin, this man won't wake up. His body becomes weaker with every minute. He's in pain. You don't want to let your friend suffer unnecessarily, without any hope of reconvalescence? Or do you want to deliver him? For ever?" "Murder him? " "I don't speak of murder! I mean euthanasia. We could help him, the only way we have in disposal. You are the only person in charge, You have to make a decision. " The healer looked at him seriously and full of compassion. "Just think about: What would he choose? " She left the sickroom and closed the door silently behind her.

Lupin seated himself again next to Snape and took his hand. "Have you heard her? I should make the decision whether you should live or die! I have to decide if we should better murder you. You! Severus, I can't. I can't make this decision. I don't know what's right. Is she right? Or me? Severus, help me! What should I do? Severus! Please! " He cried.

_The pleasant voice sounded __upset - and desperate. He knew all about desperation. _

(Sure? Yes!)_ He couldn't catch the reason, but he could move to that voice much more easily than before. Desperation__. A tendril of this thought moved groping through his mind and found something. It found__ a__ tiny fissure__ in the__ masonries__ of his__ dungeon._

_Something warm and wet fell __onto his face. Tears, he understood. _(One cries if one feels pain.)_This perception seemed__ to__ be important__. Pain__. Also__ pain__ was an__ old intimate_(Since when? Too long!)_ This thought__ also__ blew through__ his__ mind__ stroke roots__ and__ wove into__ the__ first one._

_The pictures before his inner eyes moved__ more slowly, the cacophony in his ears dropped a bit. He could hear the voice much better now. _"Severus"_, sounded it in his ear, _"Severus, help me! "

(Who is Severus? I AM Severus. **I AM** Severus Snape!)

_Fragments__ of his memories slipped back into their right places, adjusted themselves._

_The__ pictures resolved._

_Now he __recognised the voice and he realized who was crying for him._

_Something powerful swelled in his chest, exploded into a warm stream and__ flooded his body. The chains broke._

_He__ felt._

_He__ opened__ his__ eyes._

_He saw._

_He saw Lupins face near above._

"Remus. You're dripping. "

Being thunderstrucked Lupin stood bent over Snape and stared at him. Then, a vast smile shone at his face. "Severus! I've thought I've lost you! " Spontaneous he took Snape's face in his hands and gave him a kiss right on the lips. After that he whirled around and off the door. "Healer! Healer Brigid! He's awake! Severus is awake! " Remus bursted back into the sickroom, followed by the healer. "Professor Snape. How do you feel? " "How should I feel in your opinion? " Ironically he raised an eyebrow and turned to Lupin:"Did I interpret that right, Remus? You've kissed me? " Lupin grinned. "He's becoming nasty, that means he is feeling much better. " Snape folded back the blanket to get up. But when he saw his get-up he pulled the blankets back very fast. "Where are my robes", he spat at Lupin. "In the wardrobe. Should we let you in this thing for a whole week?" "Much better that** THAT**!" Disgusted twitched Snape at the sleeve of his flowered nightshirt. "Really, he is back to normal. Exactly the old creep I remember", assured Remus to the healer. Snape blazed furiously at him, but couldn't manage a snappy come-back. "However, Professor, what you need for the next time is rest and look after and some healing potions. You'll have to honour us with your company for another while." The healer darted him a stern look. "Look after? And healing potions? I'm absolutely able to take care for myself. And I'm pretty sure that there is no need to stay here!" Snapes eyes glittered. The healer didn't care: "That's indeed a stupid idea. You'll stay here. " She met his angry glare stout-hearted. "We have no idea what happens next to you. Not after such an uncommon curse." "Apropos", interrupted Snape. "How could you cure me?I hadn't invented any counter-curse. " "You? You have invented this curse? " Lupin stared shocked at Snape. "That is – a very long story. It is about very special - torture curse. Tantalising a lot, murders slowly and it is without any counter curses. Well, I thought it would be without counter curses. " He turned his interested gaze at the healer. "We couldn't find anything, too. Seems, as if you reconvalescence is a miracle." She gave him a crooked smile and patted Lupin on his shoulder. "He is your miracle. " She turned to leave, but before she went away she let a final comment slip out:" If – and only if we'd let you go, we have to make sure that you're in somebody's custody. With him for example! " She pointed at Lupin and left.

Snape leaned back in his pillows and eyed Lupin with an expressionless face. "So", he said equanimous, "you're my miracle. " Lupin did not answer, ut went to the window and stared outside. "It is absolutely clear that this will stay between us, isn't it? " Owing to lack of possibilities he stared at Lupins back. Lupin preferred staring silently into the sky. "Remus!I'm talking to you! "Impatience coloured his voice. "I know. " Nonetheless Lupin kept staring out of the window. "Could you possibly force yourself to the decision to look at me?" With a sudden jolt Lupin turned around. "Severus, what do you want?" His voice sounded exhausted. "Drop it, just one time in your life. Just let it be. I'm tired, Severus. I've been searching for you almost the whole night after the battle until I finally found you. The last four days I've been sitting next to you, holding your hand and talking to you. All days and all nights. Nobody knew what was wrong with you, how to help you or if you'd ever awake. Nobody. I hoped that hearing a familiar voice would help you. But – perhaps I should have left this part to your old friend Lucius Malfoy…" Bitterness sounded from his voice. Exhausted he collapsed onto a chair, his face unhealthy grey and deep lined.

"You've been here? All the time?" Snape sounded unbelievingly. Lupin nodded. Snape shook his head. "Why? " "Why not", answered Lupin with a flat voice. "You idiot!Go back home, Remus, and have some sleep! " A little softer he added: "Come back tomorrow, then we can talk. I'll be here."  
With a slight groan Lupin stood up and staggered to the door. A moment before the door finally shut he heard: "By the way: Thank you." With a bewildered expression on his face he leaned against the wall.A "Thank you" out of Snapes mouth! He'd never thought that he could ever bring that word over his lips.

The next day Lupin returned. Carefully he knocked at the door. "Yes", sounded Snape's cool dry voice from inside. "Hallo Severus." "Remus." Severus nodded at him and pointed at the chair next to the bed. "Sit down"; it came crusty when Lupin hesitated. Quiet he took a seat and also quiet the two men fixed their gazes on each other. Finally Lupin broke the silence:"What was that for a kind of curse?" "That's Remus all over! The important things at first", commented Snape dryly. In the same dry manner he continued: "Very well, that curse. I've once invented it under the instruction of the Dark Lord. He wanted a Cruciatus-Curse for the soul. You can't hear, you can't see, you can't move. You're forced to live up your worst memories again and again until you forgot who you are, what you are. The victim is imprisoned in its own mind, buried alive in its own body until it finally dies." Lupin noticed that Snape talked in the neutral dative case. He cleared his throat and interjected: "Sounds a bit like a Dementorattack." "It is worse, Remus, much, much worse. There were only three people to know that curse: Lucius Malfoy, myself and the of course the Dark Lord himself." Unwittingly he rubbed his forearm where the Dark Mark was. Lupin cleared his throat again. "Voldemort is dead, young Harry destroyed him." With a short nod Snape acknowledged the news. "And also Malfoy became eliminated, by Charlie Weasley, I think."  
"So. Then I'm the only person left knowing that curse. The better for us." "Then it was Malfoy who cursed you?" It was more a statement than a question. "Yes", confirmed Snape briefly. "An irony of fate. Tried to destroy me by my own curse. " He involuntarily cringed at the thought of his infinite pain.

"Severus", Lupin began carefully, "what - do you still remember? " "Words are not enough for that, Remus. No intellectual conception could put that into words." A strange glare burned in his black eyes. Lupin lowered his eyes and nodded. "Of course. " Again there was silence. "I could show you how it was. " Snape hesitated and reached for his wand. "You won't…" "No", hissed he impatiently. "Ever heard of Legilimency so far? " Lupin felt a bit different. "You're saying you will…" "Merlin! You got it", snapped Snape. "Do you want to know or not?" "Okay." Lupin moved his chair nearer to the bed. "I need you to help me with this. " Snape gave him a look. "The magic must be done by the both of us." Lupin nodded again. They looked at each other, raised their wands and call together: "Legilimens! "  
And the chaos overtook Lupin. He saw and felt what Snape had to endure, he got lost in all this pain and torment until he didn't knew any longer who he was or where he was.

The first thing he noticed as a single person was Snape. Snape held him in his arms and tried to comfort him, while he was crying in a heartbreaking sort of way. He lifted his tear-stained face to look at Snape. "And you had to bear that all? Severus, I'm so sorry!" He rescued his head at Snape's shoulder and embraced him. Snape kept him in his arms and felt surprised by himself. He, the one who was always on the run, the one who always avoided physical contacts like the plague, felt well by holding Lupin in his arms. His logical centre was highly indignant by this weakness and for pure jerk he loosed the embrace. "Remus. Remus!" Lupin lifted his head and looked Snape in the eyes. He always knew these eyes cold and empty, but now… A warm light seemed to glow in them. He could have watched in these eyes for hours, let him being wrapped in this warmth and forget the world about. Unwillingly he broke the eye contact. "What's up?" "You're crying. My nightgown becomes wet. " But Snape's voice sounded more amused than angry. He conjuredup a handkerchief and touched under Lupins chin. He lifted up his face very soft and began to dry his wet cheeks. Lupin hadn't ever thought that these hands could be that soft and tender. Hesitating he lifted his hand and touched Snape at his cheek. It was softer than he'd ever imagined. Again he was met by a snape-untypical gaze full of warmth, accompanied by a barely visible smile. His face was so near to his own, he felt his warm breath on his skin. _'If I move just a little bit towards him' ,_ the thought flashed through his mind, but a second later he overruled it. Lupin retrieved a little bit away from Snape. "Thanks. It's all right now. " Blimey! Why his voice does sound furred? Snape also straightened up, the smile had disappeared from his face, the glare in his eyes was dimmed. "I always thought you have had cold hands", said Lupin to say something. The next moment he cursed himself for that. The all-round know eyebrow clambered up again. "Who told you I have had cold hands?" "Nobody. I just had the thought. " He racked his brains to say something sensible. Should they now flee into petty banalities? For a tiny moment he had thought that Snape felt this intimate moment at the same way, but apparently he was hoodwinked. Also Snape was incapable to start a sensible conversation.

_'Of course not'_ , he thought._'He enjoys that situation, my embarrassment and soon he will shoot one of his cynical commentaries at me. Although, after all I've seen in his mind I can't believe any longer that he is really such a numb asshole. That's all just play-acting, but a good one.'_

He fiddled around with his wand, just to have a reason not to look at Snape. He was waiting for that spiteful remark he was sure would come.

But Snape was occupied with something else. He was still wondering about his willingness to embrace Lupin and his sudden disappointment when Lupin backed away that sharp:  
_'What was that? I don't like to be touched, but this time I even liked it. I wonder if it is an aftermath of the curse. And why does this prat tell me nothing sensible? Just wait a second and he'll give me a nasty comment, about "being unforeseen human". And anyhow: Why does he think about my hands and if they're cold? Where is the sense? At least he could look at me. He's sitting there, playing with his wand and says nothing. If it should be a challenge, have it your way. I won't speak at first.'_

Keeping still he leaned back, folded his arms and watched Lupin fiddling around with his wand. Finally Lupin commanded himself to get a grip on himself. He raised his head and looked at Snape. "What was that? " "What was what? "

_'He understood me absolutely. Do I really have to mention it?'_

_'I don't see his point. Does he like to bring me to admit that I liked it?'_

Snape put on a deadpan expression. "I don't see your point, Remus. What do you mean?" "I mean our embracement ago", he blurted out and could have kicked himself for that. Snape straightened up, that promised to be interesting. He fixed the gaze of his black eyes on Lupin. Lupin felt like a rabbit in front of a serpent, but he decided not to shy away. "Yes?" Snapes voice sounded neutral. "What is about that embracement? " "For a moment I thought you'd liked it, too. " So, now it was done.

'_Too! Remus liked it as well! And if I… No. What if I tell him I'm feeling the same and he exposes it as a misunderstanding? Or worse: As a joke? He'd laugh at me. I can't tell him anything about that. What if he is playing games with me and I become disappointed again? No, never. I won't fall for that.'_

Snape kept his deadpan expression, but for an instant Lupin had the feeling his gaze had flickered.

_'So what? Do I hit the bull's eye? Or does he think I tried to make fun of him? Severus is always that distrustful. Why does he never tell anyone what he's thinking?'_

"Severus? What are you thinking now?" Snape looked at him. "I don't see your point." He used caution. Lupin sighed and seated himself next to Snape at the edge of the bed. "I'm talking about our embracement, Severus. You and me, we embraced each other, just now, when you comforted me. And I liked it. For a moment I have thought you felt the same. That you felt something for me." He felt his cheeks becoming red, but by now there was no way back. "I had the craving to kiss you, Severus. But I didn't know", he hesitated, "if you would allow it. So, it's your turn now! " Lupin shot the ball in his direction and now he had to decide how to go on. He paused in his silence and pondered strained

"You've always been like this" Lupin muttered and got closer to Snape. "You're never taking anyone seriously. Keeping all people in a distance. But you're not as cold as you like to show, I've learned it." Snape gave a jerk. "What? " "Just if you hadn't noticed, Remus, you're almost lying next to me in my bed." "Give me an answer, Severus. Be honest to me, for the first time of your life." He looked Snape deep in the eyes. Snape fought against himself. Should he confess his feelings? Should he not? Finally Lupin made the decision. Without further ado he raised his hand and touched Snape's face, stroked his cheek with his fingers and moved his hand down to his neck. He felt Snape's heart beating faster and knew that he was right at all. He **did** like it. Snape leaned towards Lupin and Lupin wrapped his arms around him. And finally – finally their lips met for a first shy kiss.

It lasted only a few seconds, until Lupin backed away from Snape. "Was it that bad?" He asked, half as a joke and looked Snape in the eyes seriously. There he found again this warm shining and longing gaze. Snape shook his head slightly. Hesitated and with a furry voice he asked – and cursed himself for HAVING to ask: "You mean business, do you?" A strange pleading stood in his eyes as if he was afraid to get the wrong answer. „As if I'd be joking about that… Shut up and kiss me! " Lupin draw Snape closer and Snape kissed him, first reserved and shy, but then much more urgent. His lips were warm and soft and so sweet. His tongue slipped to these lips, their tongues met and began to play. Deep in his mouth he felt Lupin's moaning. He drank Lupin's kiss like a man dying of thirst and pressed himself firmer to him. A wave of heavy sentiments raced through his body, his heart beat to shatter itself. His hands moved like self-contained above Lupin's body, tousled his hair, explored his body, were able to so much more. Space and time were no consideration, everything else was unimportant. The only important thing was to kiss Lupin, to feel him and to be with him.

After a little eternity they parted to get some breath. Snape leaned his head against Lupin's neck and absorbed his unmistakably odour deeply . Never ever he felt that vulnerably but secure. He'd never thought Lupin could bring him to this state.

"Remus",he said soft, with a dark tender voice and tasted every letter on his tongue. "Remus." "What? " "I think I love you. " Lupin caught his breath; he'd never hoped he'd hear someday these words from that man. Snape kissed him at his neck and murmured: "Did you understand me?" "Yes, I did. " He pressed Snape firmer to himself. "I love you, too. " Snape listened for that words and allowed him to be overwhelmed by them. An unknown feeling of warmth arose inside him, Remus loved him. He, Severus Snape, was loved! He raised his head and smiled at Lupin. Lupin had NEVER seen such a bright joyfully smile at Snape's face. Snape seemed to be totally altered

And when he'd taken a closer look at Snape a wide grin split his face. Snape's hair was standing in all directions, that ridiculous nightshirt was out of place and he had a glassy-eyed look. Snape looked like under the influence of drugs. Lupin's grin became wider until he roared with laughter. Snape's expression obfuscated suddenly. Did Remus laugh at him? Has it all been just a joke? "What", he snapped. Still laughing Lupin caressed his face. "Oh Severus, you're looking that – ähm – hot! If you're looking that completely shattered after a kiss, I must wonder what you'll look like after you have had really good sex." Snape blushed a bit and Lupin embraced him spontaneous. Snape snuggled himself up into this embracement und bit Lupin – a wee bit sharper than he meant to – in his earlobe. "Ouch!" "Sorry. I didn't want to hurt you! I guess I need more practising. " This man was unbelievable. His aloof and unapproachable way has gone completely, he was like a kitten, soft and playful, with drawn in claws. Lupin smiled at this thought. Snape breathed a kiss at the sore point and nibbled more careful at Lupin's ear. Lupin shuddered with a cosy feeling, but then tried to stop him. "Severus? That is not a good idea. " Snape went on. "Severus! I am not carved in stone, you know? And for certain – activities is that here the wrong place. May be you should give yourself under supervision. Under my supervision. At home." Snape grinned. "I believe the healer meant something different when she spoke about taking care." His grin became wider when he added: "But we'd have a lot of rest. " "Dress up, I'll take care about the formalities. And after that we'll go home."

_**END**_


End file.
